Grace and grief

I've been reading a book entitled A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser -- a book about grief. Back in the early 1990s, Sittser lost three members of his family in a tragic automobile accident -- his mother, his wife and one of their four children all died when a drunk driver plowed into the family van. Because they were in a rural area when the accident occurred, it took an hour for an emergency vehicle to arrive, during which time Sittser watched his wife, his mother, and his daughter die before his eyes.

The book, originally published in 1996, chronicles his journey through grief to where he could finally see God's grace in the situation.

Sittser's loss is much more tragic than mine, and some things in the book deal specifically with loss that is truly catastrophic, but much of the grieving process is the same.

I've come now to the part of the book where Sittser talks about life not being fair, and it is this thought that I have been chewing over for many days now. And not just with regard to grief, but in general terms. Life ISN'T fair, and Sittser correctly says that we shouldn't wish for it to be. For if it were, we would not know God's grace. We don't deserve God's grace, therefore it isn't "fair" either. If fairness were the rule, we might not suffer much but we also would not know the richness of relationship with our God and Father. Life isn't fair -- we do suffer terribly at times -- but, because of the 'unfairness,' we also know the unmerited grace of God.

- Catherine

According to whom?

I loved John Fischer's "Catch of the Day" entry for today. For reasons of copyright, I can't reproduce it here, but you can find it by clicking on this link: http://www.fischtank.com/ft/inthetank.cfm Here's a little taste: "We get into a lot of trouble when we use our culture's definition of fulfillment and apply it to our understanding of God's purpose for our lives."

It goes along with something that I once read by Anne Graham Lotz: "Are you interpreting His love by your circumstances instead of interpreting your circumstances by His love?”

Tim and I were talking last night about how the Christian culture has done a disservice to believers when it promotes the "gospel of prosperity" or the notion that God yearns to bless us with all our heart's desires. God is not a Fairy Godmother. He has a purpose for each of our lives that is perfect, but it doesn't always look like the things our selfish hearts want. We need to look beyond our own whims and remember to seek first His kingdom -- because what the Lord wants for us is much, much better than anything we could imagine.

Praise God Now!

Getting back to some serious thoughts here....

We join in a very ancient cry when we sing or say the word “Hallelujah.” Interestingly, it appears in Scripture in this form -- i.e. as the actual word “Hallelujah” -- only in the book of Revelation (chapter 19). The literal translation is: Praise JAH -- JAH being the Hebrew for He that Is. This is in contrast with the Psalms, where we find Praise Jehovah – which means Praise He who will be, is, and was. In Revelation, with the use of “Hallelu JAH” we have reached the time when there is no more need of thinking about God as He was or will be – we are then in the present with the living Lord. That gets a “Hallelujah!” out of me when I think about how wonderful that day will be!

So, does our use of the word “Hallelujah” in the present age mean that we are living in what is known as the “end times?” Are we getting ahead of ourselves by using the term? I confess I don’t know the answer to questions such as those, and I am not really trying to address that here (although you’re welcome to think about it).

Hallelujah is not the equivalent of the present day “Woohoo!” or “Ye-es!” that we all use when we’re excited about something. Hallelujah! is an ancient form of reverent worship and praise to our living God. What is interesting is that singing or saying “Hallelujah” means we are praising the God who is right now, with no need to think about the past or the future. Seems to me that’s how we are to be living anyway in these days. Scripture exhorts us not to worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34); it also tells us that God does not remember our past sins (Psalm 103:12). We get to live in the present with our magnificent and mighty God – what a relief! Hallelujah!

Winter into Spring

Spring is definitely trying, but winter keeps coming back and biting us. It reminds me of some unfinished business in my own life – some unforgiveness that I know needs to be resolved so that spring can arrive, but, like winter right now, keeps coming back to bite me.

Scripture is very clear that as we forgive others, so will our Father forgive us. Bearing that important truth in mind, it is still incredibly hard to get around the very human emotions engendered when someone deliberately sets out to hurt you. The shock, the hurt at being betrayed by someone you thought you could trust to deal reasonably with what is, admittedly, a sticky situation. Can’t we all just act like adults? Well, it seems that we can’t. And I need superhuman powers to get to the point of forgiveness – something I most decidedly lack right now.

Where is God when you’re trying but not getting anywhere? Is He just sitting up there laughing at vain effort? Not at all! Jesus tells us that our God knows every hair on our heads; He knows every emotion we go through.

Then why the continuation of this particular winter season of my soul? I pray for spring (forgiveness) to come. I know His mercies are sure. I just have to believe – and, really, I already do know -- that this cold and dead season will eventually give way to spring’s more pleasant climate and the renewal, birth, and growth that come with it.

April 2008